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  “It will all be okay.” I laughed at the look on her face. “Freddie is family now.”

  I heard her mutter, “Manson family.”

  We took care of the paperwork and Freddie sat silently by my chair the entire time. We loaded up in the car, she sat regally in the back seat next to the small crate that Lisa had brought for her little furballs, and we stopped back at the pet store for some food. I ran in, studied the cat food for a bit, found some that swore it was made of real meat, grabbed a larger food bowl, a studded black collar and then waited while a little machine printed tags with mine and Lisa’s pet’s names and our address on each of them. I worried while I waited and was eager to pay and get outside. I tried to tell myself it was all okay, but I wondered if I would get back to the car to see Freddie gnawing on a bone and Lisa and her kittens gone forever.

  We got home, went through the garage and I walked Freddie into the backyard on the leash. Tuff, laying in the sun as usual, lifted his head when he saw us coming towards him and his gaze zeroed in on Freddie beside me. He cut his eyes up to me and then looked away slowly. And there was a doggie eye roll. My king was pissed.

  Lisa hurried inside with her kittens and her pet store haul muttering something about avoiding a bloodbath as Freddie and I got closer to Tuff. I squatted down beside him and put my hand on his head. After a few seconds he opened his eyes to look at me. I sat my butt down in the grass with one hand on Freddie’s head and another on Tuff’s. After a few minutes both of them relaxed and I kept petting them for a while. Finally, Freddie got closer to Tuff and stretched out in the sun. I decided to do the same. I stretched out, put one hand behind my head while the other kept a grip on the leash, and closed my eyes as I let the sun warm me.

  There wasn’t any glitter and I didn’t see a rainbow, but I felt happy.

  My thoughts went to Sandra. She had always been so protective of the Duke brothers and their baby sister Kari. Sandra’s husband Tink and Bill Duke had been friends forever, they even started the Knights together when they were young. When Bill’s wife took off he needed help with his kids and Sandra stepped right up to the plate.

  When Sam and I got together he told me about Sandra and I was nervous about meeting her, like I would have been if I was meeting his mother. She was nice to me, if a little distant for a while, and after some time she decided I was worthy of her Sam and she and I became friends. She reminded me a little bit of my own mother. Strong and fearless when it came to protecting her babies, but when Tink walked into the room her smile softened and her eyes got sweet when he leaned down to kiss her. I remember thinking that one day Sam and I would behave like that. Surrounded by our kiddos and family, but still able to make each other smile that certain way even after years of being together.

  The warm sun on my face, a slight breeze blowing around me, my very large furry family around me made me melt. This is home. As I sat up I wondered how Sam and his woman felt in their home. Was he happy? Did she make him happy?

  Steph and ‘Drea would be here soon and I planned on asking them exactly that.

  ~*~

  Sam waited at the red light beside a small SUV. He turned his head to look into the vehicle next to him and saw a woman with long dark hair at the wheel. After a few seconds he realized the woman was Stephanie Jacobs, Zeke’s buddy Chandler’s wife. The same Stephanie that was joined at the hip to Carlie in high school. Sam glanced back at the light and then again into the SUV. Stephanie was staring at him now. No smile, no wave, just looking him in the eyes and waiting for something. Sam kept her eyes until the car behind her honked. He glanced up and saw that she had a green arrow. He got a look at her as the vehicle started to move and he saw that she was still staring at him. Finally, she turned forward and hit the gas to go through the intersection. Soon, his light was green, and Sam moved forward.

  For a few seconds Sam thought about following Stephanie. Asking her if she had seen Carlie. Knowing that those three were thick as thieves through school, he was surprised that neither of the other two had known where Carlie had gone. He had seen both of them often through the years, and at first they would ask him questions about Carlie. Had he done something to make her run away? Had he hurt her? Had she tried to contact him at all? The last time Carlie’s friend ‘Drea had asked him one of those same questions he had been drowning his sorrows in a bottle of booze and his response had not been nice, it had not been quiet, and it had not been understanding. He stood up and yelled in little ‘Drea’s face that he didn’t fucking know so she should shut the hell up about it and leave him alone.

  Back then, when his hurt was still fresh, their questions just twisted the knife. Every time they asked him his pain would come right back up to the surface. What had he done to make Carlie run away? Why had she not called? If something spooked her she should know he would do anything to keep her safe. Was she going to come back?

  Right after Carlie disappeared Sam and Zeke went to the office of the apartments that she had lived in with her Uncle Carl. He and Zeke used every ounce of their considerable charm to get in good with the ladies in there so that they would let him and his brother into the apartment. Even though the rent was paid through the end of the month, they knew that Carlie and her family were gone. They let Sam and his brothers pack up the apartment and take all of Carlie’s things away the day that Uncle Carl would have received his eviction notice for nonpayment. Sam took all the boxes to his Dad’s club and stored them in the attic for the day Carlie would come home to him.

  For the first few months he watched the street or looked up from his work when he heard a car coming. He stayed close to the shop or his house to make sure he didn’t miss her when she returned. He worked, he drank, he slept, and he worried. Depending on the day he did a few of those things in excess. Zeke was still going to school at the community college in Rojo at that time, so he was around to pick Sam up, dust him off, sober him up and try and get him to restart his life. Zeke helped Sam save money to hire the private investigator who had a business down from his Dad’s garage, and Zeke made sure to tell Sam it wasn’t because he wanted to find her, but he wanted his brother to have answers. Sam waited for the PI to find something, anything, to let him know where to go to bring back his Carlie.

  The private investigator insisted he was looking in all the right places and leaving no stone unturned to find Sam’s girl and her family, finally telling Sam that there was no record of Carl or Carlie in any place he had searched. The information on their rental agreement from the apartments had led him to an empty lot in a town in Oklahoma. No one around there had heard of Carl or Carlie. The driver’s license numbers and social security numbers on those same forms led the PI to records of people who had long since died. His beautiful girl didn’t exist anywhere except his memories now. The day the PI told him that information Sam felt the first stirrings of anger replace the fear and uncertainty.

  The angrier he got, the more he pushed down the memories of his Carlie until one night after too many shots and too many beers he found himself laid back in a tattoo parlor having her name inked on his chest right above his heart. Zeke sat by the chair watching Sam mark his body with her name and finally asked why he would put her name on his chest after she had run away and hurt so many people. Sam told him then that the tattoo wasn’t, so he could remember her but rather to remind himself not to trust a woman with his heart ever again. Zeke just put his arms on his knees and started at the floor. No more questions. As the years passed he had more ink put on his body but had never covered up her name.

  Through the years he had thought about Carlie’s situation and different signs he should have seen then. She never spoke of her parents. She was very secretive about her family and where she had come from. She was jumpy in large crowds, hated them even. She always insisted that they sit by a door in any restaurant they went to. She looked behind and scanned the crowd when they were walking in a busy place.

  At the time, when he would ask her about those things, her answ
ers made sense. It hurt her to talk about her parents. She didn’t like talking about the past or her family. She didn’t like people behind her, and she read too many crime novels to not pay attention to who was following her. She wanted to sit by the door so they could be the first ones out in an emergency.

  It hit him out of the blue one day a few years ago that she was always ready to run. It was like she knew it would happen. Once, when they were headed to the lake, she realized that he had taken her bag out of the trunk to fit in the extra supplies they needed. She didn’t listen to his arguments at all but turned the car around and drove back 30 minutes to pick up her bag. She wouldn’t tell him why but only said, “A girl’s gotta have her secrets sweetheart. This one is mine.” And she smiled at him, her dimples came out and her eyes twinkled, and he was gone. No more questions.

  Sam turned left at the next light, and then made a left again. He headed not to his garage, but to the PI firm that was still right down the street. Chandler Jacobs owned that business now, and he was married to one of the ‘witches’ as the girls had called themselves then. Stephanie, the black-haired woman from the SUV was Chandler’s wife. If Stephanie had seen Carlie, Chandler would know. Chandler could tell him how to find Carlie, so he could get her to tell him where she went and why in the hell after eleven years she was back.

  As Sam got off his bike in front of the Jacobs Private Investigations office he saw his brother, Zeke, on his bike getting ready to pull out of the parking lot of their garage. He let out a piercing whistle and his brother’s head snapped his way. He checked for traffic again and headed Sam’s direction. Zeke pulled in, turned off his motorcycle and threw his leg over to get off. He walked to Sam and tilted his head in the direction of the PI office. Sam smiled and went to open the door for his brother.

  8.

  I grabbed another bottle of water from the fridge and turned to look at my girls in my living room. My girls. Stephanie, ‘Drea and Lisa. All in one room with me, laughing and happy, together. A dream come true. I had my playlist on and Chrissy Hines was singing about the Chain Gang as my eyes scanned my living room.

  ‘Drea was sitting in the large comfy chair I had positioned catty corner to the end of the sofa. She had one leg curled under her and the other bent up so that her cheek was resting on her knee. ‘Drea was holding a long lock of her blonde hair and teasing one of the kittens, now named Annie, with the long curl. Her hair, as always covered her like a curtain, but it was still wild with curl. ‘Drea had always been a wash and let it dry on its own kind of girl. Her face was the same, rarely ever made up, her flawless skin and bright blue eyes were captivating on their own. She lifted her head to smile at something Stephanie said.

  Stephanie had met and instantly fallen in love with my Tuff. They were currently laid out on love seat, spooning together, with Tuff’s back to her front. Stephanie’s black hair was up in a loose, messy bun with wisps falling around her face. She had her head on one of my throw pillows and Tuff was laying on one arm while she rubbed his side with the other. She looked so cute snuggled up with my guy, and he of course had his golden eyes closed and was basking in the attention. Stephanie’s dark brown eyes twinkled while she watched ‘Drea play with the tiny kitten. I walked past the kitchen island and went around to flop down on the couch.

  “There were a bunch of kittens left when we found ours. Some really beautiful ones, ‘Drea. Maybe you should go up there, and Steph, you too. Buy a little kitten to love.” Lisa was in the floor, leaned back on the couch that held Tuff and Stephanie. She had her other little kitten, Kelly, on her chest. He would occasionally lift his head and swat at one of her light blonde curls.

  “I’ve never really been a cat person, kind of like Carlie. Steph on the other hand would have ten if Chan would let her.” ‘Drea smiled. “And he rarely ever tells her no.”

  “He tells me no. No, I can’t carry in the groceries. No, I don’t need to help with the lawn. No, he doesn’t mind if I come hang out with my girls while Rosie is at her friend’s house for dinner and a four thousandth viewing of Tarzan.” Stephanie was still lazily rubbing Tuff side.

  “Oh, apparently Carlie is all the sudden a cat woman now. A demon spawn cat, but still a cat.” Lisa threw in.

  Steph lifted her head, “You got a cat?”

  “Oh no. Not just any cat. A dog cat. An eat your soul while you scream in fear and pain kind of cat. Not some little sweet thing like I did.” Lisa still wasn’t too sure of Freddie. But then again, he had disappeared somewhere in the house earlier and I had no idea where to find him.

  “I did get a cat. He’s pretty big. He has a whole lot of hair and yellow eyes. Beautiful if you like demonic possession and most especially if you worship Satan.” Like right now. I didn’t know where in the hell he was, but I could envision him in the middle of a circle calling up spirits to possess us all. “He’s around her somewhere, believe me you won’t be able to miss him.”

  ‘Drea reached up and gathered her hair over one shoulder. She looked up at me and said, “Are you okay after that whole Sam thing today?” I had started a group text after I left Steph’s house the other day and we had been burning up the lines ever since. “I was worried when you text us about that.”

  “I’m handling it. If he has found a woman that makes him happy I have no other choice. I guess Sandra saw me at the shop today, but I don’t think Sam did. And, the way Sandra was acting, I am sure she didn’t share my presence with Sam.” I pulled one of the throw pillows in front of me like armor. “Lisa was kind of freaked that Sandra mentioned she might kill me.”

  “Might?” Stephanie snorted. “She could if she wanted to. Probably has offed a few females that messed with those Duke boys or her own kids. Wouldn’t surprise me. The only one she has ever been nice to was you.”

  “I don’t know that Sam is all over in love, though, Carlie. I talk to Kari pretty often and she probably would have said something about that. We don’t usually talk about her brothers, just work, but something big like a lifelong commitment or whatever, she would have at least mentioned it.” Drea got up from her spot and reached to the coffee table to grab her glass. “Anyone else want more wine? When will the pizza be here? I’m famished.”

  ~*~

  Sam followed Zeke into the waiting room of Chandler’s office. No one was at the reception desk, which made sense since it was after 5, but Zeke took off to the back like he knew where he was going. Sam went behind him and stopped when Zeke paused in front of an open door.

  “My man. Glad you’re here!” Zeke called out a greeting.

  “Zeke! Good to see you, man! Come in.” He stood up to come around the desk, holding his hand out for Zeke. They shook hands, and Chandler clapped Zeke on the shoulder. “Hey, Sam. Good to see you too.”

  I shook Chandler’s hand and watched him walk back behind the desk.

  “What can I do for you, gentlemen? Or are you here to kidnap me and force me to leave all this shit on my desk while we go for a ride?” Chandler sounded hopeful.

  “We could do that, man. We could do that.” Sam sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk and watched as his brother sat in the one next to him. “I kind of need to talk to you about something else first, though. It has to do with one of Stephanie’s friends.”

  The smile on Chandlers face dropped. He looked down at his desk and shook his head a bit and then looked back up at Sam. “Can’t do it, man.”

  “You know where Carlie is.” Zeke stated.

  “I know where my wife is.” Chandler looked from Zeke to Sam.

  “Well then where the fuck is she?” Sam growled.

  “My wife, god bless her, has sworn me to secrecy about where Carlie lives or is or whatever. Anything to do with Carlie. She said that she has to let Carlie come around and work through things with people her own way and that me, or her or ‘Drea have to let her do it.” Chandler put his lips together. “I can’t tell you what my wife doesn’t want you to know. Just can’t.”

&nbs
p; “Well, shit!” Sam started to stand up, but Zeke put a hand on his arm.

  “Wait a sec. You can’t tell us what she doesn’t want us to know. But you can tell us other things, right? Like is she here in town permanently? Is she just passing through? Is she already gone?” Zeke heard Sam draw in a breath at that last question.

  “I can’t tell you any of those things, man. Gotta stay silent on it all, brother.” Chandler looked up at Sam. “Sorry, man.”

  Sam stood up, he looked angry but Zeke and Chandler both knew it was because he wanted answers, not because he was mad at Chandler. A promise to his wife trumped questions from a buddy every time. Zeke stood up with him. Chandler stayed seated.

  “Before you guys go, though, how about we make some small talk. If I say something vague, but reasonably informative, and you roll with it, then I haven’t actually spilled a secret. Get me? You get what you need, I stay on the honey side of my wife. Everyone is happy.” Chandler finally smiled.

  “Fuck me, I ain’t got time for twenty questions, man.” Sam started to go for the door.

  “Sam wait,” Zeke said as he sat back down. “You can see he’s a happy man and wants to stay in the honey. Don’t blame him. But if the man’s got small talk he wants to get off his chest, I for one would like to pick at that small talk and see where it directs me.”

  Sam stayed standing and gripped the chair in front of him. “I’ll give it a minute.”

  “So, Steph ran over some nails or screws or something in her Suburban. Had to take her car down to your garage to get some new tires put on. Figure while it’s there your guys can give it a tune up, change the oil, whatever it needs.” Chandler leaned back.

  “Mmmhmmm.” Sam muttered.

  “But since she got it in so late today, it won’t be done til sometime tomorrow. Wasn’t a problem because she went ahead and took mine since I have my bike in the little garage out back. Since the weather’s good I am going to just ride the bike from here. She’s gonna call me when she gets done chattin’ with her little coven of girls here in a bit. They’re gonna order some pizza. Told her I had some work to do so she should go ahead and catch up with them and I would meet her there later.” Chandler was dropping little tidbits.